


I Can't Buy Another You

by AnastasiaFoxx



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-11 00:40:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11703174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnastasiaFoxx/pseuds/AnastasiaFoxx
Summary: Dan is the last to leave the Grumps studio on the night of a winter storm, leading to a horrific event that will change his life forever. Many things will never be the same, including his relationship with Arin...but perhaps that's for the better. In progress.





	1. Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This work deals with many aspects of rape, including the actual act, emotional damage, and physical consequences. I myself have been a victim of sexual assault and I'm striving to make this work as realistic as possible. I encourage you all to be safe while reading this, as much of the material might be uncomfortable to read. Happy reading, and feedback is always appreciated.  
> \- Anya  
> Edit: I totally didn't remember that it doesn't really snow in California. I'm originally from Russia and am currently living in the midwest, I guess it just slipped my mind that some places don't snow! Whoops! Keep that in your mind as you read! Thanks to obsessionismylife for pointing that out! Hopefully it won't detract from your reading experience! xoxo

With a sigh, Dan gazed out the window. A storm was already brewing, and snowflakes had begun to gather around the window frame. The storm hadn't been predicted to hit until later that night, and he had thought for sure that he would be able to get home before the roads got bad. It appeared this would not be the case after all.  
Briefly, he considered sleeping at the office overnight. Everyone else had already left for the weekend, and he knew they wouldn't have minded anyways. But the storm was predicted to cause power outages, and Dan would prefer to be in the safety of his own room should this happen. Additionally, Barry was already back at their house, and getting snowed in would be better if he had someone to spend time with. Resignedly, Dan went to gather his coat and scarf in preparation to leave, dreading stepping out into the snow.

He didn't initially notice anything off as he stepped out of the kitchen and through the hallway. Exhausted after a day of work, the wet shoe prints on the floor and the soft rustling weren't picked up by his weary senses. However, there was no avoiding the sight that came to him as he stepped into the common room: three men, all dressed in black, all wearing ski masks. One carried a drawstring backpack, and another held an open duffel bag that the three appeared to be shoving equipment into. As Dan entered the room, they froze, all staring intently at him.

Dan himself froze as well, his brain taking a minute to fully process what was happening in front of him. The Grumps studio was being burglarized? It couldn't be. They kept a low profile, and nothing of the sort had occurred here before. The absurdity of it all caused Dan to fall into a state of confusion, unable to recognize the danger that was before him.  
He opened his mouth to say something, what, he wasn't sure. But it didn't matter; before any sound could be conjured, he was slammed to the side, his head colliding sharply with the wall. He cried out in pain, his hands flying out to protect himself from landing on the ground. He fought to stabilize himself quickly, beginning to realize the severity of the situation he was in. As he righted himself from the wall, a large hand wrapped around his mouth, silencing any further cries. Another hand grabbed his right arm, minimizing his flailing. Dan could still see the three men standing in the common room, though they were no longer frozen in place. His heart sunk as he realized there was a fourth; he had already been sorely outnumbered by the three men as it was. Without a doubt, there was no way he'd be able to fight his way out of this. 

Suddenly, his feet were kicked out from underneath him and the hand released his arm, only to wrap tightly around his slender waist, pulling him against the chest of the man behind him. The heels of his shoes squeaked against the ground as the man drug him back into the kitchen. One of the other men followed, the one with the drawstring bag. The other two returned to placing items in the duffel bag. Dan felt his heart rate increase substantially as the man in front of him pulled a roll of duct tape out of his bag. He was roughly thrown onto the seating of the kitchen, and the man the had been dragging him grabbed hold of his legs, pinning them together. Dan heard the sickening rip of duct tape before he felt his ankles being bound together. He squirmed around, trying his best to sit upright. His legs now operated like a fish tail, only capable of flailing in strange directions, and not doing him much good at all. As he was pulled upright and his wrists bound behind him, Dan knew his situation was dire, and in a few moments he would be completely helpless. He did the only thing he could think to do.

With a sharp upward thrust of his long legs, Dan kicked the man holding his wrists in place sharply in the crotch, causing him to topple onto the man holding the tape. He struggled to free his wrists, which had not been fully bound yet.

"Help," Dan cried raspily, his throat dry from fear. "Someone help!"

His attempt was short lived, as a fist suddenly collided with his nose. The searing pain behind his eyes hitched his breath in his throat. Another blow landed firmly on his stomach, knocking his breath away. His wrists were firmly bound again, and as the second man finished taping them, he took hold of Dan's right wrist, holding it firmly in his grasp.  
Dan let out a hoarse scream as he heard the snap of his wrist being broken. The shock of what had just happened prevented the pain from enveloping him for a few moments.  
The man who he had kicked stood up slowly, groaning in pain as he did so. His eyes radiated rage, and Dan shrunk back from his gaze unintentionally.

"Not a good choice, my friend," the man growled, his voice low and angry. The panic that had already grasped Dan increased in intensity as the man balled his hand into a fist, and reared his arm back in preparation to strike. 

Dan wasn't sure which blow hit when, he only knew where. His chest, his temple, his stomach, his cheek, all fell victim to the man's anger. Each seemed to hurt more than the last, and Dan didn't attempt to conceal his cries. He was left with tears in his eyes as the attack ended.  
Another ripping sound, and a piece of tape was placed firmly over his mouth, allowing only whimpers to escape. A piece of tape was soon placed over his eyes, and his world was plunged into darkness. 

"Go help the others, I'll take care of this one." Dan could tell that this was the voice of the man he'd kicked, and his stomach dropped. Surely, he was not going to make it out of this alive. He would have plead, had it not been for the tape over his mouth. All he could do is sit, paralyzed in fear, as he tried to understand the sounds around him.  
The first thing he felt was a hand on his shoulder, and then he was shoved over, so that his face and chest were pressed against the seats. He turned his head to the side, allowing him to breathe. Confusion seized his mind as he struggled to conclude why he had been placed in this position. He could hear the man's footsteps wander into the kitchen, and a drawer opened and closed. Dan's heart rate increased, fearing that the man had gotten a knife. His body tensed as the footsteps returned closer to him. The hem of his t-shirt was lifted briefly, and a cold metal object was placed against his spine. Dan held his breath, preparing for the worst.

In one fluid motion, the man cut straight down the back of Dan's shirt, causing the cloth to fall and gather around his wrists. The same smooth cut was soon made down both his sleeves, and the shirt was lifted off of his body. The office had begun to cool because of the storm, and Dan's skin prickled with goosebumps. He shivered lightly. Despite the sudden cold, he was glad that the metal that had touched his skin had not been a knife. 

The true meaning of dread grasped Dan as he felt the man's hands undoing his belt buckle. 

His belt was removed slowly, and a firm hand was run down his spine. The man chuckled softly; Dan felt a lump rise in his throat in response. His jeans were unbuttoned, and then slid down his legs at an agonizingly slow speed. His shoes and socks were quickly removed. Dan felt his legs being held down firmly, by what he wasn't sure. The man slid two fingers lightly under the elastic waistband of his boxers, humming lightly as he did so. With a soft yank, Dan's boxers joined his jeans around his ankles. The tape around his ankles was cut, and his jeans and underwear slid off onto the ground. The tape was replaced, and the weight on Dan's legs was removed. Fear, along with the cold, left him shaking.

He was forced to listen to the horrifying sound of the man removing his own pants. How desperately he wished he could see something, anything. He could feel the close presence of the man to his own body.

Hands were placed on his hips, dragging them up over his knees. With his rear propped in the air, the realization of what was about to happen settled in.

But it couldn't be so. He was imagining things.

A cold hand ran over his chest, tracing over his collarbone and sternum. It twisted his right nipple slightly, causing Dan to shrink back.

It's not true. He must be imagining things.

The same cold hand wandered around his bottom, and came to rest on his lower back. Dan felt the cushions sink under his legs as the man joined him on the seat.

"It's all in your head," he said to himself. "All in your head."

Of course, it wasn't all in his head. He just wanted it to be so.

Cold hands spread him wide, and then the feeling of coldness was replaced by a white hot pain. Dan opened his mouth to scream, but he could not because of the tape. Some sound escaped anyways, muffled and desperate. The raging pain in his abdomen threatened to overtake him, and for a moment Dan thought he would vomit. He was also suddenly stricken with the inability to breath. There was no pressure on his neck, nothing covering his airways, however the sensation of not having enough air in his lungs overwhelmed him. The burning spread throughout his chest, and the sound of his heart pounding in his ears separated Dan from any sounds present in the environment. He could feel tears streaming from his eyes underneath the duct tape. 

The soft moans of the man above him brought back the urge to vomit, and Dan concentrated on forcing the feeling away. Anything to distract him from the violation he was experiencing. 

The movements behind him were becoming increasingly erratic, and the man's thrusts were becoming more desperate and firm, each eliciting a cry from Dan. Sharp nails dragged across his back with each movement, leaving angry red lines in their wake.

With a sudden finality, the movement stopped. Dan felt the warmth of semen inside him, and he had to again resist the urge to vomit.  
As the man stepped away and pulled up his pants, Dan became aware of his own erection. His eyes welled again with tears and shame engulfed him. He half hoped that the man was planning on killing him. 

Instead, he was sat upright, on his sore rear with his back against the seat back. He winced, but was grateful to be in a less compromising position. He felt the man get close to him, and attempted to pull back, only to find that there was nowhere to pull back to. Lips made contact with his neck, kissing at first, and then firmly biting. Dan wanted to scream as the man moved upward, biting at his jawbone and cheeks. The man groped at Dan's length, slowly stroking him, reveling in how Dan squirmed as he ran his hand over the head of his member. He increased the pace of his stroking with no results; Dan was too frightened and in too much pain to find anything pleasurable about his touch. Firm bites were placed over his collarbone, chest, and nipples, before he felt the man pull away. With a chuckle, Dan heard the footsteps leave the kitchen, heading towards the door. The front door opened and closed, and with that, Dan was alone. 

As he sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime, Dan became increasingly aware of his own nakedness. Shame overwhelmed him, and he fought to shove the lump in his throat down. The tape over his eyes was wet and pulling off of his face from tears. He had not felt his hands straining against their tape before, but now he noticed the distinct burn of duct tape cutting into his skin. Though, that was by far the least of his pain. He tried desperately to ignore the torn feeling settling in his abdomen, but as he sat on the wounded area it became increasingly hard. He feared to move, as he couldn't see his surroundings. And so he sat. Still.

After a while, there was a click, and the gentle humming from the fridge disappeared. Sure enough, the heavy winter storm, which Dan had almost forgotten about, had caused a power outage. Seconds later, the backup generator kicked on, however it was only meant to power the water heater, lights, and alarm system. As the minutes ticked by, heat began to escape from the building, and Dan became increasingly cold. His shivering became more violent, causing his knees to knock against each other and his spine to collide rapidly with the back of the seating. This and his breathing were the only sounds in the frigid room.

Until Dan heard the front door open again. 

He whimpered, fearing what was to come.


	2. Warmth

Surely the man was back to kill him. Dan tried his best to contain his whimpering as he heard footsteps moving around the studio. He felt pathetic, bound and naked, covered in tears and blood. 

Helpless, he thought, I'm helpless.

The footsteps neared, and he heard the kitchen doors swing open. His stomach filled with dread.

"Dan, oh my God," a voice said, "Danny!"

Many emotions swept over Dan all at once: fear, shock, embarrassment, but most notably, relief. So much relief overwhelmed him that for a moment he forgot how cold he was and stopped shivering.

For this was a voice he knew well. Arin.

Warm hands were on his face, gently peeling the tape off his eyes, taking care to not tug at his eyebrows in the process. His vision was flooded with light, and he blinked rapidly, his eyes taking a few moments to adjust to the change. When they focused, Dan could see Arin, his soft face filled with worry. The tape was removed from his mouth, but Dan had no words to say. 

Not questioning Dan's silence, Arin worked hastily to free his friend's arms and legs. Dan yelped as the tape was removed from his wrists, revealing to Arin that his right wrist had been broken. Similarly to Dan, Arin was experiencing a range of emotion, the most notable of which was rage. Rage towards whoever had done this. He didn't need Dan to tell him that something sinister had happened here, that much was obvious. He tried to conceal the shaking of his hands as he finally freed Dan's ankles and stood up.

"Oh God, you must be freezing, I'll go get you a blanket." Arin exited the room swiftly, only to come back seconds later with a plaid blanket. He draped it over Dan's shoulders softly as Dan began to fully process what was happening.

"Dan, are you ok?"

Dan wasn't sure. He could now see some of the bruises that dotted his body, and even more so, he could feel them. The pain in his abdomen was searing, along with the embarrassment of Arin seeing him in this state. He could feel the urge to vomit rise in his throat again, and knew that he wouldn't be able to resist this time.

"Arin..." he gasped, his voice hoarse from his earlier cries. He didn't need to say more than that, Arin saw the change in color in Dan's face, and reached to help him up. Arin gently guided him to the bathroom while he worked to control his retching.

Dan knelt over the toilet and emptied his stomach. Arin's warm hands held his curly hair off his face. It was a situation they had been in before, but it was so much different this time. Arin briefly stood and wetted a washcloth in the sink, As Dan heaved again, the warm washcloth was pressed to his forehead, and Arin's free hand gently rubbed his shoulders. 

Dan feared that he wouldn't be able to keep his composure. A sob caught in his throat; he bit his lip to contain the sound. His efforts were in vain, Arin shushed him softly in response, moving his hand to lovingly massage Dan's curls. Embarrassment caused Dan to retch again. Arin retracted his hand from his hair and placed the washcloth in the sink, stepping away from Dan. 

"I'll be right back." Arin exited the room. Dan took the time to wipe a few tears away from his eyes before Arin returned, holding a cup of water and the blanket. He handed the cup to Dan, who accepted it gratefully, taking a drink. Arin knelt next to him, once again draping the blanket over his shoulders. A strong arm wrapped around Dan's shoulders, and for the first time in several hours, he felt safe. The notion of being protected was enough to make him come undone. 

Arin crossed his legs as he sat down, pulling Dan close to him. Dan's head came to rest on his shoulder as sobs wracked his thin body. He kept one arm around his shoulders and left that hand to rest in his curls as he used his other arm to pull Dan into his lap. He wrapped the blanket more tightly around him, and brought his arm to rest on Dan's slender waist. Dan's sobs became more violent and he gave in to his need to be held, wrapping his battered arms around Arin's neck. 

Arin maintained his facade of strength, but inside he was crumbling. Never before had he seen Dan so unraveled. He'd seen him distressed, sure, even crying, but never to this extent. Unsure of what to do, he placed his chin on top of Dan's head, rubbing his back rhythmically over the blanket. Aside from his more visible ailments, Arin could feel that Dan's skin was still icy, and he worried that perhaps he was suffering from hypothermia. Then again, he was still fully conscious, and that was a good sign. He would have to care for his more immediate injuries first. Arin raised his hand from Dan's waist to wipe the tears off of his friend's bruised face. He didn't return his arm to its original position, instead he cupped Dan's cheek in his palm, lightly running his thumb over the bite mark present. 

“Arin,” Dan whimpered, before finding himself unable to say anything else and letting out another sob. 

“Shh, Danny, it's ok. It's ok.” Arin leaned in to place a tender kiss on the top of Dan's head, calming him slightly. In addition to feeling safe in his arms, Arin was also exceptionally warm, and Dan wiggled closer to him to calm his shivering. Though the blanket was helping, his bare legs and feet were still left exposed to the harsh cold. He pulled them closer to his body, forming a ball in Arin’s lap. Dan pressed his forehead into the warmth of Arin’s neck as he allowed his sobs to become cries and his cries to become sniffles. Arin rocked him as he repeatedly uttered his earlier phrase. 

“Arin,” Dan murmured again, more of a statement than anything else, trying to say many things at once. He was tired, cold, in pain, but also thankful. 

“Dan,” Arin answered, again wiping the tears from his eyes. 

“Why are you here?” Dan thought momentarily that his question seemed oddly accusatory, as Arin was allowed to come here any time he liked, but a gentle squeeze from Arin assured him that he understood what he was asking. 

“I didn't get an email from the alarm saying that it had been armed. I thought maybe you had just forgotten, but then I got here and saw all the stuff out of place or missing…” He trailed off, remembering how he had also seen the door knob marked with a red hand print. Which of Dan's wounds had caused that? He wasn't sure he wanted to know. He remembered the wet footprints that he had followed down the hallway until he heard the soft whimpers, and then found Dan in the kitchen, bloodied and nude. He cringed internally as he remembered how his friend had frozen as he entered the room, clearly expecting more torture to be inflicted on him. 

“Arin, they took so much, I'm sorry I couldn't stop-” He was silenced by Arin’s shushing, he could feel Arin vigorously shaking his head. 

“I don't care. I don't care. We can buy more equipment, we have insurance, it doesn't matter.” He pulled Dan as close to him as he could get, kissing his head again, overwhelmed by emotion. “I can't buy another you.”

It was exactly what Dan needed to hear. He remained as close to Arin as he could be, grateful that he was there. Dan shuddered to think of what might have happened had Arin not been so vigilant about the alarm. Arin had the same thought, and quickly pushed it away, unable to bear thinking about it. 

“We need to get you out of here, you're freezing.” It wasn't a question, Dan realized, though he had no interest in moving. He sighed softly as Arin began to reposition, pulling them apart as he did so. Dan wrapped the blanket tightly around himself as they both stood up. Arin reached out, taking Dan's uninjured arm, and guiding him back into the kitchen. His first intent was to get Dan back into his clothes so he could take him home, but upon seeing the mess of blood that was the kitchen, Arin knew he had to make a difficult call. 

“Dan...we need to call the police.” It was only logical, the insurance company would need a police report to file a claim. But Arin knew the kitchen scene would need to be explained, and the best way to deal with the situation was to report the whole incident rather than clean it up and only report the robbery. After all, honesty is always the best policy. 

Dan nodded, his throat drying. He didn't know exactly what a police investigation would mean for him, but he was sure it would involve divulging more information than he was comfortable talking about. Arin was right, it needed to be done, the insurance wouldn't pay out if they weren't honest about what had happened. He nodded again, and Arin picked up his phone.


	3. Questions

“How many men were there?”

“Four. That I know of.”

“Ok, and how many of them were in the kitchen with you?”

“Two, at one point.”

“And you don't know what the other two were doing while you were in the kitchen?”

“No.”

“How many men attacked you? I mean punching, pushing, things like that, for right now.”

“Just the two in the kitchen with me.”

“Can you give a description of your injuries?”

“Uh...I have a broken wrist, a minor concussion, two of my ribs are fractured, and I have some bites and bruises and scratches.”

“Ok, good. How many men raped you?”

“Just...just one.”

“Ok. I'm going to ask you some specific questions about the rape now, I just want you to answer yes or no to each one, and then I will ask you for more details later. Do you understand?”

“I understand.”

“Were you penetrated anally?”

“Yes.”

“Were you penetrated anally in more than one instance?”

“No.”

“Was a condom used when you were penetrated anally?”

“No.”

“Were you penetrated orally? I understand you had your mouth taped for the majority of the time.”

“No.”

“Were your genitals handled without your consent?”

“Yes.”

“Were you forced to penetrate the man or men anally without your consent?”

“No.”

“Were you forced to penetrate the man or men orally without your consent?” 

“No.” 

“Were you forced to handle any of the man's or men's genitals without your consent?”

“No.”

“At any point were you asked for your consent?”

“No.”

“Good. Now I'm going to ask for more details, I only need you to provide enough detail to answer the question, however providing more detail will help our case and possibly avoid another questioning session in the future.”

“Ok.”

“Did any of these events occur before you were bound?”

“No, they all occurred after.”

“When you were penetrated anally, rate the amount of pain you experienced on a scale of one to ten.”

“Ten.”

“When your genitals were handled without your consent, rate the amount of pain you experienced on a scale of one to ten.”

“Three...it didn't really hurt that he was touching me but I didn't want him to continue.”

“Ok. Did you feel that any of this was done with excessive force?”

“Yes.”

“Why would you say that?”

“I had duct tape...everywhere. I wasn't able to resist very well. It didn't need to be so...violent.”

“That makes sense. We recovered a pair of jeans, a pair of boxers, a t-shirt that had been cut, socks and shoes from the scene. Was this all you were wearing?” 

“Yes, I was going to get my coat and scarf but I hadn't put them on yet.”

“I'm going to mark that clothing likely wasn't a provoking factor in this incident. Did anything else occur that would have provoked this attack?”

“What? You think this is his fault?”

“Sir, please allow the victim-”

“Nothing he could have done would have justified this.”

“Arin, it's ok. I did kick him in the crotch.”

“Do you feel that might have contributed?”

“I think it's possible.” 

“Ok, thank you. We'll probably need to speak to the both of you again at a later date to discuss items missing from the property. Right now many of our officers are tied up with the bad roads, but we'll have the crime scene fully analyzed and then we'll call you back in to discuss if necessary. Does that sound acceptable to the both of you?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Daniel, I'm going to sign off for you to have a physical rape examination done. You should be aware that this is a very invasive procedure, and parts of it will likely be painful. You should expect a full internal examination of your anus, and likely a full examination of your penis and scrotum as well. You will be asked for blood, urine, and sweat samples. Your body hair, including pubic, will be combed for evidence, this process could take over an hour. Swabs will be taken from your anus, urethra, mouth, and all of the bite marks on your body. Finally the examiner will take pictures and measurements of each wound. You do not have to complete this exam in its entirety, or at all, however I would recommend you complete as much as you can to aid in the case against the perpetrator. May the tapes note that this is officer Shayla Bure, asking Daniel Avidan for his consent to a physical rape examination. Daniel, do you consent to the procedure detailed previously, knowing that at any time you may retract that consent and end or skip parts of the examination?”

Arin took his hand, tightly squeezing. Dan swallowed firmly, steeling himself against the approaching terror.

"Yes, I consent."


	4. Cleanse

Arin had to almost carry him out of the clinic. His body was too tired from the events of the previous hours to move properly. He had only been given a hospital gown to wear and a pair of shower shoes, but he barely noticed the cold as he stepped out into the snowstorm. Arin held an arm around his shoulders, guiding him to his car. He opened the passenger door and sat Dan in the seat, adjusting the seat for his long legs and buckling the seatbelt around him. Dan mumbled his thanks softly, his eyes barely open anymore. Arin was relieved; he knew Dan needed the rest. He took his place in the driver's seat and began the journey home. The radio was set to a Christmas station, which ordinarily he wouldn't have cared for during a difficult drive, however the chipper nature of the carols seemed appropriate and comforting. 

Much to his surprise, the roads weren't as bad as he had anticipated they would be, and it only took him half an hour to get home. Dan pushed himself awake as Arin pulled into the driveway. He turned to face Arin, confused. 

“Why-”

“I'm not letting you stay alone tonight Danny.” The statement was made with such confidence that Dan almost didn't question it.

“I wouldn't be alone, Barry is there.” This time Arin looked confused.

“Barry was planning on staying with Ross this weekend. Don't you remember?” 

Dan flushed with embarrassment; he had forgotten all about that, though Barry had told him several times. 

“What about Suzy?” 

“She's at her sister's, she didn't want to risk driving and decided to stay with her for the time being.”

There was silence for a moment as Dan tried to find a reason to go home. He supposed there weren't any, he had just been looking forward to taking a hot shower and crashing in his bed, moving towards forgetting the events of this awful night.

“Dan, I'm not asking.” And he wasn't. Arin was determined to have Dan where he could keep an eye on him. 

Perhaps more for his sake than Dan's. 

He removed his key from the ignition and quickly unlocked the front door to his house before returning to help Dan out of the car. Dan allowed himself to be taken inside by Arin, his chest tight with feelings of gratitude. Dan knew that Arin was his best friend, undoubtedly, but over the course of the night it had become clear to him that Arin genuinely cared about him, in a way he wasn't sure anyone else ever had. He could feel it in the quick glances Arin made in his direction, making sure that he was still upright. He had felt it in Arin’s gentle touch as he had wiped the tears away from his eyes. Most prominently, he had felt it as he lay curled in Arin’s lap, sobbing into his neck. He felt Arin’s affection for him, and for that he would be eternally grateful. 

Arin was experiencing a much less positive range of emotions. He was angry. Incredibly angry. He had been getting progressively more furious from the moment that he walked into the studio kitchen and saw Dan, _his_ Dan, a bloodied mess. As Dan was clutched close to his body, crying so hard he could barely find a pause to breathe, Arin grew even more irate. To physically harm Dan was one thing, but to cause the emotional wounding that Arin imagined he had was another. What right did anyone have to make Dan feel so lowly? What benefit could defiling this pure, kind person possibly have to them? 

The hardest anger for him to face was the anger directed at himself. During Dan’s statement and questioning with the officer, Arin had been able to piece together a rough timeline of the evening. Dan had been planning to leave the studio just thirty minutes after he himself had left. Why couldn’t he just have hung around for a little while longer? The idea that he could have possibly prevented Dan’s pain was slowly driving him mad. 

He sighed. There was no taking back what had happened now, he could only try to repair as much of the damage as possible.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Dan was sitting on his couch, looking barely awake. 

“Not really.” He mumbled.

“Are you sure? You should probably eat something.” 

“I’m too tired...I’d kind of like to take a shower and go to bed.”

Arin nodded, not sure what this would mean for him. He found himself slightly afraid that, even though he would be in his own house, something would happen to Dan if he was out of Arin’s sight. Despite the nagging uneasiness of leaving Dan alone, Arin led him to the upstairs bathroom and allowed him some privacy. He returned downstairs, deciding to prep some chicken soup for when Dan was done. He knew it had been several hours since Dan had eaten, he needed some food in his stomach. 

Dan felt a pang of anxiety as Arin returned downstairs without him. He had wanted to ask Arin to stay with him, but couldn’t find the words. Arin had already shown him more generosity than he could have ever asked for. He stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water to run over his head and down his back. He arched his spine slightly as the water stung the scratches that trailed down his lower back. He wasn’t sure what to wash, and he found that he was hesitant to look down at his own body. It didn’t feel like his body, everything about it seemed like it was wrong and foreign to him. Was his waist always this narrow? Did his legs always look this thin? The body he saw looked as if it was fragile and unreliable, plagued by weakness and vulnerability. 

Slowly, for the first time in hours, he looked at his injuries. His feet and legs were mostly untouched, save for some bruising around his knees. His crotch showed some more troubles, the skin was red and irritated and puffy. He couldn’t see his backside, but it could feel the bruising, and he was glad he was blind to the damage. His chest was in the worst shape of all, the ribs that had been fractured when he was shoved into the wall were marked by angry red bruises, and bite marks dotted the remainder of his fair skin. His wrist had been properly braced, and was no longer causing Dan a great deal of pain, but the disfiguration was still uncomfortable for him to look at. He continued to let the water run over his body. He didn’t bother truly washing; he knew that it would not improve the feeling of uncleanliness he felt. 

After several more minutes, he stepped out of the shower, wringing his hair out over the tub. There was a soft knock at the door before Arin cracked it open.

“Dan? Here’s a towel.” Dan took the towel and wrapped it around himself, surprised to find that it was warm. Arin must have heated it in the dryer before bringing it to him. 

“I...I don’t have anything to wear.” Dan thought out loud. It wasn’t entirely true, he still had the scrubs they had given him to wear at the clinic, but they were thin and uncomfortable, and Dan didn’t want anything to do with them. Arin’s arm came through the crack in the door again, handing him a small pile of cloth. Dan took it from him; unfolding it to reveal a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

“These won’t fit you great, but they’re the closest thing I have.” He was right, the pants were far too large for Dan, and the shirt too baggy, but he didn't mind. He was comfortable and glad to have his body properly covered once again. He towel-dried his curls quickly, and then returned downstairs to find Arin in the kitchen. 

Arin was setting the table as he came down the stairs. He still wasn't very hungry, but Dan couldn't deny that the soup smelled delicious, and he knew that he should eat. Arin did the dishes as he ate, every few minutes he would pass by Dan and run his hand across his back or through his hair. Dan delighted in his touch, knowing that Arin was looking after him, protecting him. 

Dan could feel his eyelids growing heavy as he finished eating, and his head began to dip with sleepiness. Arin noticed this, and came to take his dishes away, placing them in the sink, but opting not to wash them right away. He walked back over to Dan, who had propped his elbows up on the table so that he could rest his chin in his hands. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” Arin ran his fingers through Dan's wet hair. Dan nodded, yawning lightly, overcome by tiredness. It had been an exceptionally long day. 

Arin led him upstairs again to the guest bedroom, inducing the sheets so that Dan could slide under the covers. Dan laid his head down on the pillows and curled his legs up slightly. The bed was comfortable, and he was growing closer to sleep by the second. Arin sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the covers up over his shoulders. 

“I'll be right next door if you need anything. Do you want another blanket?” Dan shook his head, he was plenty warm after his shower and under the covers. Arin stood, reaching to turn off the lamp on the nightstand. He walked towards the door, guided by the light from the hallway.

“Arin?” 

He turned around, returning to Dan's side.

“Thank you.”

Arin said nothing, not sure that he was deserving of Dan's thanks. He leaned in and gently kissed his forehead instead of speaking. 

Dan sighed, almost happily, as he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Repeat

Dan's eyes flew open as he heard someone enter the bedroom. He sat up quickly, squinting against the darkness as he did so. A figure stood in the doorway, though Dan couldn't make out who it was without his glasses on. 

“Arin?” He fumbled with the lamp on the nightstand before finally getting it lit. As he turned back towards the front of the room, he heard a low chuckle from the doorway.

His heart began to race; he recognized that sound, and it did not belong to Arin. 

The man entered the room, grinning devilishly. For the first time, Dan saw his face, was distraught to find that he was quite handsome. Caramel brown hair was swept towards his left side and piercing blue eyes gazed back at Dan. Behind their alluring color, Dan could tell there was something sinister lurking behind those eyes. He shrunk back, pulling the comforter over his lap in an effort to protect himself.

“What...what do you want?” His voice was shaky and light, full of fear. The man’s grin widened.

“Did you think I was done with you?”

“P-please…” Dan whispered as the man came next to him, pulling the covers off of his body. He squirmed as the man's cold hand was run up his chest, finally taking his chin in its grasp.

“Please what? Fuck you until you scream?” The man's breath was against his neck, and his lips were on the bite marks he had left hours earlier. 

Tears welled in Dan's eyes as he begged the man to stop, to leave him alone. His pleas were met with only laughter. He considered fighting, but the consequences had been grave for that. 

As if the man could hear his thinking, a hand was quickly place on his throat, squeezing just enough to make Dan's vision go red momentarily. 

“You're going to be a good boy for me, aren't you? I'd hate for something to happen to your friend in the other room.”

Dan swallowed, fear clutching his stomach. He couldn't let anything happen to Arin. He couldn't. A tear slid down his cheek as he nodded, indicating his compliance. 

Hands were on his waist, pulling his shirt up, exposing his battered chest. The hands explored his chest, rubbing harshly at his tender nipples and the bruises on his ribs. Dan whimpered at each touch, silently willing himself to remain quiet as to not wake Arin. This became more difficult as the man pulled down his sweatpants and sobs began to emerge from his throat. The man brought his face next to Dan's. He brought his lips to his cheek, and, much to Dan's surprise, licked the tears from his cheek. 

Dan swallowed the urge to vomit.

The man moved his face next to Dan's crotch, inhaling deeply. He shifted, bringing his hands under Dan's knees and folding his legs outwards. Dan clenched his eyes shut as the man positioned himself above him. Previously he had wished that he could see, now he wished that he could not. 

Two fingers were forced between his quivering lips. 

“Better get them nice and wet, that's all the lube you're getting.” He sucked obediently, knowing that it wouldn't make much of a difference. He knew the pain he was about to experience would be great. The fingers were removed from his mouth and the wetness was wiped around his rear.

He could feel the man's erection grazing his own genitals. A hand was placed firmly on his throat, not cutting off his airway, but causing Dan to clench up in fear. 

“Open your eyes.” The man purred, leaning his face close to Dan's again. “I want you to see what I'm doing to you.” 

Dan opened his eyes, allowing a line of tears to stream out as he did so. The man's steely blue eyes met his own.

“You're mine. You belong to me.” 

His teeth met with Dan's jawbone, drawing blood. 

“You'll be marked by me forever.”

His hand was on Dan's rear, slapping it firmly.

“You think anyone will want you after what I've done to you?”

His hot breath was on Dan's neck.

“Nobody will have anything to do with you. You'll be alone forever because of me.”

Dan sobbed, unable to control it despite his best efforts.

“You got hard for me last time. You liked it, didn't you? You filthy boy.” 

The man positioned himself above Dan again. Dan's eyes plead for mercy, but he knew he would be shown none.

“You're nothing by my whore. You're dirty. You'll always be dirty.”

With a firm thrust, the man pushed himself inside Dan.

Unable to stop himself, Dan let out a scream.

“Danny!” 

He flailed wildly, searching for the source of his name.

“Dan, wake up!”

He bolted upright, sweat running down his forehead and tears running down his cheeks. The room was dark for a moment, and then the nightstand lamp was switched on. Arin stood next to him, looking very worried. Dan looked around frantically, searching the room for the danger he felt was present. 

“Dan, it was just a dream. It's not real.” Arin sat down on the bed next to him, wrapping his arms around Dan's shoulders. Dan fearfully turned into his chest, his heart still racing from the events of his dream.

_How had it felt so real?_

He curled up against Arin, shaking violently out of fear. Arin began rubbing his back rhythmically as he had before, working to bring Dan back to reality. Dan wrapped his arms around Arin, taking comfort in his presence. His trembling subsided as he accepted that it had in fact only been a nightmare.

“Sorry…” He murmured into Arin’s chest, suddenly hit by a pang of guilt for waking his friend up. 

“Don't apologize, you haven't done anything wrong.” Arin said softly into his curly hair, nuzzling into his forehead. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Dan wasn't sure. He was still struggling to process what had happened in his dream. Why had he imagined the man looking so handsome, he had no clue what his face looked like. Why had he imagined the man saying all of those things? Why did he feel so unclean when nothing had actually happened? Why did he feel unclean at all? He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but feel that he was tainted somehow. 

“Arin?” 

“Yeah?”

“Do you...do you think less of me now?” He was afraid to know the answer. He knew he was dirty. He knew it. 

Arin squeezed Dan to him tightly, swallowing the lump in his throat. He wished that Dan hadn't even felt the need to ask that question. “Why would I?”

“I...I don't know. Am I dirty now? I feel like-”

He was cut off as Arin pressed a finger to his lips softly. 

“Dan, listen to me. You're not dirty. This has only changed my thoughts of you for the better. If anyone thinks you're lesser because of this, you don't need them in your life.”

A tear ran down Dan's cheek, but this time not out of fear, embarrassment, or sadness, but from Arin’s kind words. He kept his head pressed against Arin’s chest, slowing his breathing to match his. Arin stroked his hair comfortingly.

After several long moments, Arin pulled away. Dan tried to contain his disappointment as he prepared to lie back down. He wasn't sure he would be able to sleep again. To his surprise, Arin slipped an arm under his legs and another behind his back, lifting him momentarily and scooting him over. 

Arin slid into the bed next to him. Dan rolled close to him, placing his face in the crook of Arin’s neck. Arin placed an arm around his shoulders and left the other on his waist. Dan wasn't used to cuddling, but he was grateful that Arin was there with him. 

“It's ok, nothing's going to happen. I'm right here.” Arin planted yet another kiss on Dan's hair. He rested his chin on Dan's head, and began to rub his back lightly. He felt Dan sink further into his arms as he drifted back to sleep. 

Arin wiggled into the pillows, making himself comfortable. He continued to massage Dan's back until he himself fell asleep, with Dan still clutched tightly in his arms.


	6. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm so glad to see that several of you like my work!  
> As many of you may have guessed, English is not my first language, though it is the language that I have spoke primarily for the past five years. Please don't be afraid to suggest any corrections to my writing, as they will only help make me a stronger writer!  
> Happy reading!  
> \- Anya

Arin woke hours later to see light streaming in from the bedroom windows. It was grayish light, the kind that one often wakes up to on a rainy morning, in this case snowy. He could feel that the temperature of the house had dropped considerably; he would need to use the fireplace today. Spending most of the day under a blanket probably wouldn't be a bad idea either. 

Still curled up next to him was Dan, hogging most of the comforter despite having the smaller frame. Arin’s arm was partially numb from having been underneath Dan's shoulders all night. He gazed down at his sleeping friend. The collar of the shirt Arin had given him to wear was far too large and had slipped down, revealing his collarbone and parts of his beaten chest. Additionally, the bruises on his face had started to fully develop; sadness overwhelmed Arin as he took in the many injuries. And yet, despite all the marks, it almost seemed as if there was an unconscious smile on Dan's lips. 

Wounds and all, Dan was still a sight to behold. His dark curls had dried nicely, framing his slender face. The angry bite marks that were scrawled on his fair skin did nothing to hide his high cheekbones and defined jaw. Long fingers clutched Arin’s shirt, and similarly, long legs were wrapped around his own. His shirt had also raised slightly, revealing his thin waist. He slept with his face buried, feeling safe and secure.

There was a strange feeling in Arin’s chest that he couldn't quite place. As Dan laid in his arms, he felt conflicted. He was comforting his friend, that much he was sure of. But seeing Dan fast asleep, his face in his neck, wearing his clothes, Arin feared that he may be feeling something more than friendship entailed. He had no doubt that he loved Dan,he was his closest friend after all. But the type of affection he was feeling now seemed to go beyond what would be considered usual among friends. This wasn't the first time he'd had these thoughts, though this was by far the least convenient. Dan was trusting him, allowing him to touch and hold him despite the violent touch he had encountered just hours earlier. Arin remembered clearly how he had flinched away from each touch of the nurses at the clinic, even the ones meant to comfort him. Yet when Arin reached to touch him, he not only did not flinch, he almost seemed to lean into it. Dan trusted him, he trusted that Arin would bring him no harm. Arin feared his feelings could cause the loss of that trust; the notion was almost too much for him to bear.

Arin felt a buzz from his pocket as he received a text. He had forgotten that he had brought his phone into the room with him upon hearing Dan scream, expecting to need to call the police. He pulled it out of his pocket, revealing a text from Suzy.

**Did you get the alarm thing figured out?**

Arin wasn't sure how to respond. He had gotten the lack of arming of the alarm figured out, but the results had not been favorable to anyone. Still somewhat sleepily, he typed out a simple answer.

**Yes.**

**That's our Dan, always forgetting things.**

Arin felt a stab of guilt. He had initially thought that Dan was being his scatterbrained self and had forgotten the alarm, again. This wouldn't have been the first time. He had even felt slightly angry with him as he walked into the studio and noticed equipment missing, thinking that Dan's negligence had caused a perfect opportunity for a robbery. Oh how wrong he had been. 

**Suzy, something bad happened.**

That didn't even begin to cover the events of the previous night. Arin considered leaving Suzy in the dark for the time being, but her name was on the insurance policy so there was a decent chance she would receive a call from them soon. It was better to put everything out in the open.

**What? Were things stolen?**

**Yes, lots of equipment.**

And Dan's peace of mind and well-being, Arin thought. If it had only been a robbery, the impact of last night on Arin’s life would likely be minimal. If only it had only been a robbery.

**Oh my God, are you ok??**

**I'm alright.**

Physically yes, he was alright. Mentally he was boiling. 

**Did Dan forget to lock the door as well??**

**No...he was still there.**

**Oh no, Arin, is he alright?**

**He was attacked. I think he's mostly ok.**

Physically. 

**Arin I'm so sorry...what happened??**

**I don't know how much he's comfortable with me sharing. It was bad.**

**Is he with Barry?**

**No, Barry is at Ross’. I brought him back here, he's with me.**

**Oh thank God, well at least he's safe right now.**

The phrase warmed Arin slightly. If Suzy thought that being was Arin made Dan safe, surely Dan must be feeling a fraction of that as well. His phone buzzed again.

**Do you need me to do anything? I think I'm going to stay with Jean for a while, we haven't gotten a chance to hang out in so long. But I can come home if you want me to.**

**Not right now, thank you for asking though. Have fun with Jean.**

**Keep me updated, ok?**

**I will. Love you.**

**Love you too. Give my love to Dan as well.**

**I will.**

He set his phone down, re-wrapping the arm he had removed from Dan in order to text around his waist. Dan stirred softly, his exhausted mind and body fighting to stay asleep. But the raging pain in his abdomen was pushing him awake. He stirred again, moaning quietly as he moved his legs and the fire in his bottom seared. He felt arms around him, holding him tight.

“Arin?” He murmured, not bothering to wait for an answer before sinking into his chest. 

“Good morning.” As Dan readjusted his position, Arin took the opportunity to fix his clothing, pulling the collar of his shirt back up to cover his neck and the hem of his shirt back down to cover his lower back. Dan whimpered as Arin’s hand grazed over the deep scratches on his back. 

“How are you feeling?” It was a slightly pointless question, as Arin could guess that Dan had likely had better days in the past. Yet, it still felt right to ask. 

“It hurts.” He sleepily nuzzled into Arin’s collarbone. 

“What hurts?”

“Everything.” And he wasn’t exaggerating. Every inch of him throbbed with pain. His black eyes pounded in his ears with each blink. He supposed the concussion wasn’t helping with the pain in his head; he could clearly feel where his head had met with the wall without needing to touch it. Each bite mark on his face felt like a bandage had just been removed from the area, surrounded by hot, irritated skin. They trailed down his neck and chest; the most visible reminder of the events that had occurred. His wrist felt like a deep bruise, luckily, as without its sturdy bracing it would likely be much more painful. His ribs felt as if the fractures had been made minutes ago rather than hours. But none of these wounds compared to the intense burning in his abdomen. It was as if, instead of the man’s genitals, a hot fireplace poker had been placed inside his rear and left there. Even as he lay unmoving, his abdomen seared in response to its earlier violation. Any adjustment of his position caused tears to prick at his eyes. 

“Do you want any Tylenol?” Dan did, but he also didn't want to move - or want Arin to move, for that matter. He stretched his legs just enough to get relief from the stiffness after having slept with them curled around Arin, careful not to move his pelvis much. He was still exceptionally tired, and overall unwilling to be moved from Arin’s embrace. He sighed deeply, his cheek pressed to Arin’s chest. 

Arin would have been content to let Dan go back to sleep in his arms, had he not had the nagging feeling that they both needed to eat. Arin was just plain hungry, and he knew that in order for Dan to heal as quickly as possible, he’d need to be eating regularly. He brought a hand into Dan’s hair, rubbing his scalp, and being careful to avoid the bruises.

“Maybe a bath and some breakfast would help?” He suggested. Arin did not have much knowledge about anything regarding anal sex, but he and Suzy had experimented a few times. Suzy had felt that a hot was a good way to relax afterwards, though Arin had no doubt that the two situations were barely comparable. While Arin had strived to prevent Suzy from experiencing any pain, Dan’s attacker seemed to have been aiming to cause him as much pain as possible. Still, it was worth a shot.

Dan didn’t answer immediately, for he was too tired and determined to stay in bed. But Arin began to sit up, and he knew his stubbornness was no match for Arin’s logical thinking. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” And it did. Dan had become slightly chilled as the night progressed, despite being curled up against Arin. A warm bath would help bring him back up to temperature. Though he did not really feel like eating, there was an uncomfortable emptiness in his stomach that he would like to rectify. His only concern was burning flame in his abdomen, which he feared would be made larger by getting up. 

Arin pulled out from underneath him gently, careful to listen for any noises of distress as he did so. 

“I’ll go start the water, I’ll be right back.” Arin quit the room, and Dan heard the tap begin running in the bathroom next door. He struggled to right himself, groaning with each painful movement. By the time he had gotten himself into a sitting position, Arin returned from the bathroom. He held out a hand, helping to pull Dan off of the bed and into a standing position. Dan struggled to keep his knees from collapsing as the pain of standing overtook him. Arin was at his side, holding him upright and guiding him to the bathroom. He plopped Dan down on the toilet seat, as the tub wasn’t all the way full yet.

“I’ll have breakfast ready downstairs when you’re done.” Arin closed the door as he left. Dan reached his uninjured hand down to test the temperature of the water: a little warmer than he would have preferred, but not unbearable. He waited a few minutes for the tub to full before standing again.

As he reached to pull the shirt over his head and off, he suddenly found himself frozen. Panic swallowed his mind as the idea of being nude and vulnerable too much for his tired mind. He willed himself to be strong, but he was unable to coax his arms to pull the shirt away from his body. The bath was warm and inviting, so he tried one more time, not willing to give up. This time he managed to take the shirt off and place it on the ground. He was seized by fear, and felt as if he was unable to breathe. He struggled to pull air into his throat, reminding himself that this was irrational. However he still felt as if he did not have enough oxygen, and he could feel tears streaming down his face. As he reached to pull off the sweatpants, his heartbeat was pounding in his ears. Fear is an extremely powerful emotion, and it soon became too much for him.

“Arin!”

Arin was pulling a skillet out of his cupboard when he heard Dan’s cry. Dropping the pan, he dashed up the stairs to find Dan emerging from the bathroom, tears running down his face, his eyes wide with fear. Instinctively, he pulled Dan into his arms, shushing him. The thin man was shaking violently.

“Are you ok? What’s wrong?” He worried that Dan had opened a wound or otherwise hurt himself.

“I can’t do it Arin, I can’t do it.”

“Can’t do what? Take a bath?” Dan nodded, more tears falling from his eyes. Arin frowned as he began to recognize that Dan was experiencing a panic attack. He rubbed his upper arms gently. “Are you sure? It might make you feel better.”

Dan bit his lip, for he knew Arin was right. The bath probably would ease his aching body. However, the idea of taking the sweatpants off of his body and exposing himself to attack was enough to make his stomach churn. He sunk into Arin’s arms as best he could, as he was the taller of the two, needing to feel the security he had felt before.

An idea flashed through Arin’s mind.

“Do you want me to stay with you?”

“Yes.”


End file.
